Good Gift

They are words not uncommon to a couple expecting a baby.  Words we probably uttered ourselves at some point in our three pregnancies.  "As long as the baby has 10 fingers  and 10 tens I'll be happy" or "As long as the baby is healthy I'll be happy."  And now I wonder why did I think my happiness should be  based on the health of my child.  In some ways it reminds me of the times I prep my kids before their birthday parties.  "Now remember to be thankful for every gift you receive, even if it's not what you were wanting or expecting."  A gift.  I wonder if we see children with disabilities as a gift.  As a good gift.  I suppose I've been more aware of the words people use surrounding children since adopting our son and wonder what attitudes I had before becoming a parent of a child with a disability.  A family I know was told this summer that they "deserved a healthy child."  There is a whole other discussion about what we as Americans think we deserve, but for this discussion think of the opposite of that statement.  When a child with a disability is born the opposite is either that the family didn't deserve that child or they got exactly what was coming to them.  I don't believe the person meant it that way, but the statement itself reveals the value we place on "normal," typical and healthy.

Everyone of us is living life with challenges.  Everyone of us needs the help of God and a community of people to overcome these challenges.  Most likely my challenges and your challenges are easier to disguise than the challenges my son faces.  What value do we place on people based on their challenges?

My children have received many different types of gifts.  Some work as expected right out of the box.  Others take more time and effort than anticipated.  Both are good gifts.  And so it is with our children.  Psalm 127:3 (NLT) says "Children are a gift from the LORD" and Matthew 7:11 (NIV) says "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"  Good gifts.  Our children are good gifts.  The bible does not qualify it to say "typically developing healthy children" are good gifts.  A child with a disability may not be what some were envisioning, but God whispers "Trust me my child.  Trust me in the unexpected.  Trust me through the difficulties.  I have given you what is good."