Friday, November 9, 2012

It was the third or maybe the forth time my 3 month old son had woken up in the middle of that winter night, I had lost track.  It was my hope that my second son would sleep better than his older brother had as a baby, but it was not to be.  My husband was working nights, so it was up to me to respond to the crying once again.  I willed my body to roll over even though every muscle felt as heavy as a log.  After re-swaddling my little bundle and trying in vain to get the pacifier to soothe him, I sat up to nurse him back to sleep.  This was a scene that was played over many night in a week, but this particular night was different.

As I sat listening to the sure signs of his sleeping with his slowly steady breathing I was suddenly reminded of a time back in college.  Between my Junior and Senior year I traveled overseas and volunteered in an orphanage during the trip.  The children I  played with all had some sort of disability. None of them walked, but most all of them were eager for love and attention, even if from a stranger.  The night I sat holding my infant son, however, I saw myself standing in the baby room of the orphanage.  The exact number of metal cribs that lined the walls I have forgotten, but I distinctly remember six faces.  I had enjoyed holding the babies with their large eyes, but as a 20 year old having never been a mother, one obvious fact escaped me until nine years later as I experienced motherhood for a second time.  That baby room was silent.  A room full of babies and not a sound.  No doubt each one of those children had cried at one point.  Had cried to be fed.  Had cried to be changed. Had cried to be comforted.  Had cried to be loved.  Their cries were met with silence and so they, too, had learned to be silent.  They had learned that they mattered to no one.

From as far back as Junior High I remember wanting to adopt one day and my time in this orphanage planted the desire firmly in my heart.  While engaged my soon-to-be husband and I discussed the possibility of adopting.  At the time our oldest was born we would not have qualified to adopt.  Several years later we seriously considered fost/adopt, but with the demands of a residency schedule, God closed that door and we soon welcomed our second son by birth.  Once again, several years later, after praying about adopting we felt it was not in God's timing and were soon blessed by the birth of our daughter (she has been a wonderful sleeper!).  This time last year we were again trying to decide if we should persue adoption or try for another biological child.  My husband suggested we take a month to pray about it and see where God was leading us.  That month was November, which also happens to be adoption awareness month.  Everywhere we turned there were articles, news stories and radio broadcasts about adoption.  By the end of the month we both felt strongly that God was leading us to start the adoption process.  We soon discovered, however, that adoption meant something different to each of us.  He assumed that we would adopt a typically developing healthy child. After being with the kids in the orphanage, adoption always meant to me bringing a child home with special needs.  Once again we prayed which direction God would have us go.  To be honest, I assumed we would not be pursing a child with special needs.  I knew of women who wanted to go that route for years, but their husbands were not comfortable with the idea.  I knew there would be challenges that we had not experienced with our typically developing children and wanted us to both be on the same page from the beginning, so was sure not to pressure him into something he was not willing to do of his own accord.  One week later he felt God give him the assurance we were to proceed with special needs adoption.  He is just as excited to welcome our newest addition into our family as he was our first three.  In August we sent our dossier (packet of official paperwork) with a request to adopt a little on year old boy in Asia.  At this point we've been advised it's best to not reveal his country or disability on a public blog.  We're hoping to be able to bring him home late next spring and if I get around to posting on here again I'll let you know more about him when I'm able to.

It's November once again.  Adoption Awareness Month.  I can not begin to describe on here the weight I feel for the children around the world and in our own foster care system waiting for a forever family.  I believe caring for the orphan is a call to the church seen throughout scripture and while adoption is one way to do this there are many other ways it must be done as well.  If you are not called to adopt, but want to be involved in caring for orphans, here are a few ideas:

1.  Become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) to advocate for kids in foster care in your area.

2.  Support a child through a place such as Bethany Christian Services or Holt International Children Services

3.  If you're crafty consider donating items to the Hidden Treasure Auction to raise money for a family bringing home a boy from an orphanage in Eastern Europe.

4.  Visit the auction between December 1-7 to bid on items.  It's a great place to find Christmas presents! Hidden Treasures Auction

5. Educate yourself . . . about the needs of kids in foster care . . . about the needs of orphans worldwide.  Read this blog post about how God used one family to open the doors to the orphanage where the children were severely neglected, but are now being cared for, seen as important and adopted.  http://theblessingofverity.com/2012/10/the-story-of-katies-adoption/.  The Hidden Treasures Auction is helping a family bring home one of these children.

6.  Check out Reeces Rainbow to help financially support families in the process of adoption.  Did you know that there are many families willing to adopt, but the finances seem overwhelming?  There are stories over and over again of unexpected money coming in and fundraisers raising far more than expected.  Money is not an obstacle to God and perhaps you could help one of those families take away the financial barrier.

7.  Do you know a family who are foster parents or adoptive parents?  Find practical ways to lend a helping hand (ask them how!)  Educate yourself about the issues that can arise after adoption so you can be a support instead of passing judgement if the situation is difficult.

8.  Pray and ask God if He would have you bring a child to your family through adoption.  I ask not because I think God will lead everyone down the same path we are on.  I ask because I've held the children who have no one to answer their cries.  I ask because of the thousands of children in our foster care system hoping that one day they will be chosen.  I ask because I have seen families knit together through adoption.  I ask because perhaps God has a child waiting for your family, if only you'd ask.

If you are interested in learning more about adoption:

1.  Listen to this Family Life broadcast.

2.  Considered that "special needs" in international adoption can simply mean that the child had low birth weight, is missing a finger or has a birth mark. It can also mean conditions such as cerebral palsy and Down Syndrome that we normal associate with the term "special needs"  Read this for some more information.  Consider also that boys often wait longer for a forever family than girls.

3.  Contant your local child protective services about being foster or adoptive parents to children here in the United States.

4.  Contact an agency such as Bethan Christian Services that works in domestic infant adoption, foster care adoption and international adoption.  There are many other adoption agencies as well.

5.  Talk to a family you know that has or is in the processes of adopting to get more information.

6.  Look at the new family info on Reeces Rainbow to find out more ways to get information.

James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.