Leo's Mom

In the past few days there have been numerous news reports about baby Leo who was born in Armenia.  It's been reported that his mother gave the father the ultimatum that it was her or the baby.  Why?  Because Leo was born with Down syndrome.  His father chose to parent Leo instead of placing him in an institution.  There have been many negative comments about his mother.  As an adoptive mother of two children with Down syndrome here is my perspective on the situation.

In Armenia and many other countries around the world when a baby is born with a disability doctors tell the parents they can send the child to an institution.  They don't need to be "burdened" in raising such a child.  In our own country this happened not so long ago.  Today many of our own doctors give a prenatal diagnosis of disability and in the same breath offer to schedule and abortion right away.  The parents shouldn't have to be "burdened" in raising such a child.  Many of the same people who are quick to demonize Leo's mom would nod their heads in silent agreement if only a few months before she had decided to have the doctor rip Leo from her womb limb by limb (for my friends who shared this story with me on FB, I absolutely know that you are not of that opinion).  They think it's only fair to allow a woman pregnant with a child with a disability be given extra time to decide to abort than is given for a typical child.  After all, who should be burdened by such a child.  In Armenia they hide their children with disabilities behind the closed doors of an institution.  We get rid of ours behind the closed doors of a doctors office.  Before we have this collective rush of judgement of Leo's mom perhaps we need to examine how WE really feel about a life lived with disability.

My prayer for Leo's mom is more a prayer for her country.  That they would see the value of people with disabilities.  That they would develop structures to support families living with disability.  That parents would be encouraged to see past the diagnosis to see their child.  Perhaps Leo's life would be a catalyst for that.

My prayer for our own country is that OB's would be willing to admit that while they have the textbook knowledge of the potential problems surrounding disability, most have little contact with the people behind the label.  That families would be encouraged to connect with other families who are parenting their children so they could see beyond the initial diagnosis.  And if they still felt unable to parent that they be made aware of the hundreds if not thousands of families willing to adopt the child.  I wish we would be as uncomfortable with an abortion rate of 60-90% for children with disabilities as we are with a scared mother living in Armenia.